who have i become? and why doesn't this listerine hurt?

you know how when you're a "kid" (by which i mean like 18), you see "older" people do things and it's like "why is she doing that??"

i'm feeling myself slowly slipping into becoming her.

things that have happened in the past week that 14, 16, and 18 year old versions of myself would get together and gasp at if it were possible for differently aged carnations of oneself to team up for gossip sessions:

1. i bought a purple puffy coat to supplement (read: replace on cold days) my super cool brown leather jacket which - frankly - is not warm.
2. i didn't go out for breakfast at all this weekend.
3. on sunday morning i went for a walk and then ran errands (okay this one isn't that bad, until...)
4. while running errands i stopped in a pet boutique where i spied a little dog coat that looked just like my purple puffy coat.  "murgy must have this!" said i.  AND THEN I BOUGHT IT.

now here's the thing.  firstly, i used to hate (i mean despise) people who put clothing on their dogs.  i was all "ugh, let your dog be a dog, lady!" so i've apparently thrown that part of myself out the window.

but this is the real problem: i honest to god justified this purchase.  "the dog is so small, i'm worried that she'll be cold!" the thing is - it's true that she is small and i am legitimately worried she'll get cold without a purple puffy coat!

perhaps this is "growing up" and realizing that things you judged way back when were really not worth judging, because there was not just rhyme behind them, but a little reason too.

but at the same time... i kind of feel like i'm an executive at listerine and all of a sudden one day i'm like "yo - i know we've always been all about telling people to 'power through! deal with the burning sensation, the alcohol in our mouthwash is what makes it the best!' but i was just thinking about it on my ride here and... i really hate how much it burns.  let's start making listerine without alcohol."

where has your identity gone, listerine exec!